stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
