Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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