she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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