Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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