You're completely useless in the revolution.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
