She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
