Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
