so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
