lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The air was thick with penises
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
