I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
