We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
