I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
