Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
