i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
