Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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