Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
