What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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