It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize