one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
