is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
