I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
