She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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