EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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