Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
