Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
