i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
