God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
