doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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