I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
