can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
