What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you win again, gameday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
