toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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