Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
