It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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