All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
