Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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