so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
