I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
