Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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