Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
