After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
