when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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