how can u be prego again
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
