i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
