I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
