I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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