bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
