I hate all girls vehemently.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
