He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
