the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
