I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
