is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
