just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize