the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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