I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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