I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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